Survivor
I'm A Survivor
I was sexually abused as a child. I was four when it happend--four. Four-years-old. Thanksgiving. I remember it every Thanksgiving. Every Thanksgiving I feel it. Every November I get depressed--every Novermber. It makes me suicidal at times, just thinking about it, and what it's done to me. But I don't want it to define me. I don't want it to be all that I am. I am a survivor. I have survived in the face of immense psychological suffering. I did it. I'm still standing. It didn't kill me--but it did break my brain.
I was recently triggered, just today actually, and made this animation to work out those feelings. Art helps a lot. My childhood art should've been concerning--my family never noticed anything ever with me it's almost impressive. How tragic. But I'm still here, I'm still breathing, I'm still creating through it all. A chaplain at the psychward once told me, "You're stronger than you realize, Nori." It struck me hard enough to stick. That was the day I left that he said that. It felt important.
I'm hoping everyone can understand. Most of Neocities isn't this raw--they have the priviledge of not having to be. I have to talk about this, it shows up in my work, I was just triggered. And it effects me to this day. It effects me a lot. I've implied it in the past, but I'm coming out clean now. I'm done hiding. If the world will see me the world will see all of me.
