The Internet is Dead

And It's the Users Who Killed It

The internet is deader than a dead horse. AI, bots, brainrot, slop, apps, social media--the list goes on. The internet is dead. Very dead. While there's still a few little corners, like Neocities, some dusty old forums, and even parts of big social media platforms like tumblr and YouTube, that still breath on life support, most of the internet is dead.

Now, it's really cool and trendy to say this, but what does it really even mean for the internet to be dead? It's still here, accessible as ever. So what about it exactly is so dead that no one (myself included) will shut up about it's deadness? Well, let me tell you! I think I figured this pickle out--it's a cucumber.

The users of the internet killed the internet. What was once a place full of people being nothing but themselves has slowly devolved into a performance of positivity, health, comfort, and stability. What once was a place full of nothing but artists expressing themselves in their entirety has slowly devolved into fandom of the month, fame chasing, moeny hungry performance. The internet has been turned into a very, very, very, very boring performance. The only people "entertained" by this performance are other people who are part of the performance, performing being entertained by the performance. Isn't that something?

Bots Are a Symptom, Not the Cause

Bots are a symptom of the performance. No one is actually entertained by these performances, so, by and large, most interesting people who once populated the internet with thoughts and creations, have left. Now, in their place, is an audience of bots. An audience of bots that perform being human--adding one more lovely layer of illusion to the performance.

I Hate Hatsune Miku

What's this? A nonsequitor? No. There's nothing that encapsulates the dead internet better than the way modern "fandom" and the internet at large treats this fictional nothing burger of a character. And that's exactly why they love her. Not the amazing artists behind her, which none of them can even name. However, I can and will name the amazing artists behind the empty character. I've been listening to various vocaloid producers since I was twelve. To this day, they are some of my favorite musicians. Kikuo, Maretu, syudou, ryo, GIGA-p, kiichi, and many more.

Funnily enough, their work is the antithesis to fans of the Hatsune Miku character, fans of a souless product. And to honor their work, I'd like to share some lyrics and their translations with you all, because I relate to them, and they only grow more relevant as we continue to shape the American internet into the same kind of performative, painful, and soulcrushing husk as a Japanese business company.

うっせえわ by syudou

「嗚呼よく似合う、その可もなく不可もないメロディー」
“Ah, it suits you so well, that mediocre melody.”
「一切合切凡庸な、あなたじゃ分からないかもね」
“Maybe you just can't understand, since you're so utterly normal and ordinary.”
「うっせぇうっせぇうっせぇわ！」
“Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up!”

Translation Note: This song is very sarcastic for a Japanese piece! It mocks people who take pride in being normal, fitting in, "mediocre." That's why it also mentions stuff like "being a genuis." 「私が俗に言う天才です」 meaning "I'm what's commonly known as a fucking genuis!" See the fun with phrasing? Japanese is a wonderful language. They're known by the common, mediocre, normal people as exceptional. It's intentionally ironic, and I love it.

ゴーストルール by DECO*27

「メーデー」
“Mayday!”
「僕と判っても」
“Even if you understand me”
「もう抱き締めなくて易々（いい）んだよ」
“It's easier not to hold me too close”
「メーデー」
“Mayday!”
「僕が解ったら」
“If you really understand me”
「もう一度嘲笑（わら）ってくれるかな」
“Will you still laugh at me one last time?”

Translation Note: Will you continue to mistreat someone even as you come to understand them?

ローリンガール by wowaka

「ロンリーガールはいつまでも届かない夢見て騒ぐ頭の中を掻き回して、掻き回して。」
“The lonely girl, forever and ever rolling around the chaos in her head, chasing dreams just out of reach.”
「「問題ない。」と呟いて、言葉は失われた？」
“'I'm alright,' she muttered, has that phrase lost it's meaning?”
「もう失敗、もう失敗。」
“Another failure, another failure.”
「間違い探しに終われば、また、回るの！」
“If we end up playing spot the difference, again, it'll keep rolling back around to her!”
「もう一回、もう一回。」
“One more time, one more time.”
「「私は今日も転がります。」と、少女は言う　少女は言う 言葉に意味を奏でながら！」
“'Today, I'm going to roll along too,' the girl says, so she says, putting the meaning back into her words!”
「「もう良いかい？」「まだですよ、まだまだ先は見えないので。息を止(と)めるの、今。」]
“'Are you alright yet?' 'Not yet, the path ahead is still so unclear. Holding my breath—now.'”

Translation Note: 「ローリンガール」 is translated as "Rolling Girl" which is accurate, but missing a part.　「ローリン」 sounds very close to 「ロンリー」 meaning "lonely." Notice the opening lyric is actually 「ロンリーガール」 (the lonely girl) not 「ローリンガール」 (the rolling girl). It's a play on words! The "rolling" part of this song is talking about loops and cycles of continued and repeated suffering yet continuing to "roll along" with it just as much in a loop.